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Life Lessons

Anything Goes Food Life Lessons

On Getting Older.

June 1, 2016

It’s times like when I have to throw out an old credit card that I have no idea how to discard of properly that I feel like I can’t possibly be an adult. Yet as of over a week ago, I’m another year older.

I ended up cutting the card into little strips, splitting them up, and then throwing several pieces away in each of my apartment’s garbage cans. That should be sufficient, right?

I’m 27 now and I’m not going to induce any eye-rolling by pretending that 27 is “old.” I will say, however, that I sailed through my mid-twenties without much evaluation on aging–until now. In general, I don’t care about getting old at all except that it means my parents are also getting older. But there’s a part of me that wants a new age, like a new year or season, to change the tides and offer something new. Then I realize that turning over a new leaf is ultimately up to me, a conclusion that itself possibly signals the wisdom of aging. Of course, part of my proactivity means coming back here to chat. Another part is my decision that there’s no room for people who aren’t good for me in my life. And so last Sunday, I began to eliminate people who spoil Game of Thrones on social media from my life. You could say this means my standards for acquaintances are higher than ever. You could also say they seem lower than ever. Both, I think, would work.

I celebrated my birthday the way any 27-year-old should–however I wanted to. For me, this meant $100 worth of Taco Bell and board games. I know how some will respond: Taco Bell! Ugh, fast food! Do you know how bad that is for you? That’s not special occasion food! That’s not authentic!

But I can’t hear them, the crunch of corn shells are too loud and they’ve already gone the way of the Game of Thrones spoilers.


Life Lessons

Life Lessons #1

March 24, 2015

1. Your AAA card is more important to carry around with you than your Which Wich card.

There will be times when you go to Which Wich and you forget your stamp card, and then you will be disappointed. But there will be times when your car dies and you don’t have your AAA card on you, and then you will be SCREWED.

2. If the men’s restroom is next to the women’s restroom, always check the sign before entering.
Even if you’ve gone to the same bathroom a thousand times. Because if you push the wrong door open, you will see things you can never un-see. And scream things.

3. Memorize your license plate number.
I remember mine because it sounds like “sex jiggy” when you read it out loud. When you need to fill out a form and don’t want to walk outside to check your car, this is exceptionally helpful.

4. Learn how to be direct without being rude.
People don’t appreciate beating around the bush anyway. Like the man who asked me “did you use to drive a Honda civic?” Dude, if you wanted to know if I’m Vietnamese, just ask (I am).

5. Always bring your own toilet paper.
This one is a special lesson from my mom, who came to visit me and put her own roll in my toilet paper holder.

I hadn’t run out of toilet paper.