Sometimes I think Summer’s almost over. Then I remember that I live in Los Angeles and summer has no beginning and no end here. There’s just waves of weather, hinting at another season but then quickly pulling you back into life under the sun.
Part of me almost forgot what season it was because I’ve been living the glamorous life of a person with air conditioning. I just want to note that I’ve never had an AC in my entire adult life and there’s something deliciously spoiling about blasting sterile, cold air at your body on command. I’m doing it right now. Maybe it’s bratty to admit how much I love this but I’m just happy I’ve quite literally moved up from sleeping on a yoga mat on the floor with the door open. After a while I missed the torture of roasting in the midsummer heat so I began only allowing myself to run it if I had worked out that day. For the first time in years, I’m actually exercising regularly. Just in time to get toned for fall.
I spent a paragraph talking about air conditioning because it is the smallest thing that I am blowing up as a symbol of maturing. I own something heftier than a $20 fan. I felt like I needed something and I found a solution. I didn’t ignore my instincts for once. Now if only I knew how to do other summery things that adults do, like incorporate seasonal ingredients into my food and wear large-brimmed hats with white denim. Have I wasted summer if I haven’t had sorbet? How come no one talks about sherbet anymore?
I did go hiking recently, which is summery and very apt to do. One day after work I braved traffic (because it truly is brave to endure it here) to go on what I believe was my very first evening hike. I watched the sky fade to dark and the shapes in the landscape become silhouettes. I love the look of silhouettes when executed in non-creepy ways. Sometimes even when I’m enjoying a view I wonder if I like it as much as other people or if I’m amazed by it in the same way. Sometimes I wonder if I just like views because I’m looking down on something for once. Then I tell myself overthinking the integrity of my enjoyment of a view is dumb.
I’ve decided that there is certainly time to do some things that personally satisfy my definition of summer, though they mostly involve just sitting on my porch. Sitting on my porch with some guacamole and watermelon beer, sitting on my porch and reading a book, sitting on my porch with other foods. Going on another hike. Swimming. Things I need to take initiative to do but that I know I’d enjoy. Actually, I’m realizing now that I could’ve sat on my porch while writing this post.
I lack foresight. Also, I lack hindsight.