Rambling

Birthdays, Bad Habits, and Mt. Baldy

May 25, 2014
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I turned 25 on Tuesday.

I didn’t want to make a big deal about it but that attitude just turned into me sweeping it under the rug and hiding it from everyone. I always feel kind of embarrassed with the sudden influx of attention you get when the day comes around, and since I’m a twin, I never thought it was all about me in the first place. I guess none of that translated to the people around me who bombarded me with love, messages, and sugar. Still, it was low-key and lovely, just as I’d hoped. Thank you!

For my birthday, I had sushi with a couple of friends and from the moment we sat down and my male friend told the waitress we were doing “well” instead of “good,” her heart exploded and she fell in love. And when he ordered food, saying, “Can I get–excuse me, may I get,” I could just see the lust in her eyes. After a couple of instances of her lingering at our table after checking up on us, she asked me what I had planned for the rest the night and I told her we were going to check out the whiskey bar down the street.

“I love whiskey!” she said. “I don’t like bourbon because it’s too sugary but I love Irish whiskeys. But scotch is too manly for me, it makes me feel like I’m growing chest hair. But that place is amazing and there are pool tables!”

I figured I should invite her at this point since she seemed really interested and it was more innocent for me to invite her than it would have been for my friend to, but she slipped away with our check before I could get a word in. When she came back, she announced:

“Have an amazing birthday! I would totally join you but I’m so tired and I don’t have my ID.”

“You don’t have your ID?”

“Well, I do…but I’m sorry, I’m really exhausted. But happy birthday!” Yeah, I totally got rejected from someone I didn’t even ask out, who isn’t even of the gender I’m interested in. What surprised me the most was how I actually felt kind of rejected.

ASKDFJASDF; GIRLS ARE SO CONFUSING.

Anyway, a couple of years ago whenever I had a lot on my mind I got into the bad habit of going on these drives around LA late at night. I know it’s a waste of gas and driving isn’t great for the environment anyway, which is why I made myself stop, but yeah, I’d go late because the roads would be clear and you’d hit rows of green lights pretty easily and it was as soothing as big cities get, I suppose. I don’t know about other people, but there are so many times on my regular commute when I would wonder, “Well what if I turned here instead? Where would that lead?” so on the night drives I’d indulge those questions and explore where those turns lead me. So I let myself go on a drive again the other night and it felt so good just to listen to music and roam for a while. I’m teaching myself to replace that habit with running instead, but it’s just…so much harder.

Speaking of hard physical activities, I spontaneously hiked Mt. Baldy last week. My friend invited me on a hike that morning and I figured we’d hit up Topanga or something innocuous, but no, we drove an hour out and climbed half of Mt. Baldy ’til we hit a ski lodge. The ski lodge was quaint, the bathroom foul, and the water more delicious than any I’ve ever had. There was a tall burly man from Czech that unofficially managed the place and between stories he put out these tiny ice cream soda glasses and poured us shots of Stoli, which he kept stored in a corner broom closet. I’m not sold on the combination of stoli and gravel rolling under my feet on a steep incline, but I made it down the mountain safely, and that’s good enough for me.

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The cabin had board games!

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I could never do the view justice. I take southern California for granted sometimes.

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